Friday, September 29, 2017

Owning Our Mistakes

“We all make mistakes. It’s how we come back from the mistakes that matters.”
-Tom Welling
 Welcome back, Moonlighters!  We hope you're settling into the new school year and that you've managed to find some quiet moments in the midst of the chaos that this time of year usually brings.  As a reminder, here's a link to our Pits and Cherries activity to help get children to open up about their days at school.

Tonight's activity is inspired by the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur that are celebrated this month.  For those who don't know, Rosh Hashana is the start of the Jewish new year and Yom Kippur is a day of atonement.  I like to think of this time of year as a chance for a fresh start.  If you made some New Year's resolutions in January that didn't work out, here's another chance!

Being a parent or a child is a lot of learning on the fly.  There isn't a manual for our lives and we have lots of bumps in the road.
  • Have your children been coming home from a long day at school and melting down?  
  • Have you lashed out at your kids for a silly reason after a rough day at work? 
  • Did you ever make a promise but then were unable to keep it?  
We don't always apologize in the moment (and children shouldn't be forced to), and we often forget to model graciousness.  We all make mistakes.  How will you own up to those mistakes?

Our favorite audio stories, Sparkle Stories, has a great [free!] story for Yom Kippur called Stones in the Brook, in which the family takes turns tossing stones into a brook and apologizing for ways they believe they had wronged a family member in the past year.  Tonight, we'd like to turn that idea into a MM activity to connect with your child before bed.

For this activity, try to come prepared with 1-2 recent examples of times you "messed up" as a parent and acted or responded in a way you wish you hadn't.  Take this opportunity while it's just the two of you in a quiet place to get it off your chest.  Talk to your child about those times, what went wrong, how you felt before and after, and what you should have done differently.  Ask your child how he/she felt about what happened.  Now give your child a turn.  Maybe they can't think of one and that's OK.  If they do mention one, try to use active listening and not judge what's being said.

Modeling this kind of behavior and showing them how to own up to mistakes and give sincere apologies has lasting benefits for your child.

From this article:
Offering your child an apology when appropriate extends respect for her that will eventually boomerang back to you. Children are incredibly forgiving, especially if we meet them halfway by acknowledging our mistakes, and with a foundation of mutual love and respect in place, kids will be more likely to say sorry to mom and dad when they screw up—just like us.
That's all for tonight.  Just a simple way to reconnect with your child and show each other how you make mistakes, take responsibility, and try to make yourselves better people.  If we all did this, the world would be a better place!  Tell us about your experience with this activity on Twitter or Facebook!  Whether you celebrate this holiday or not, we hope you take the opportunity for a fresh start.  And as always, mind the nap!


No comments:

Post a Comment